dhoomketu.net.in

One of the e-mail I received....
======================
For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day
when you just need to take it out on someone!!!
Don't take that bad day out on someone you know, take
it out on someone you DON'T know!!!
Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I
remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the
number and dialled it. A man answered nicely saying,
"Hello?"
I politely said, "This is Patrick Hanifin and could I
please speak to Robin Carter?"
Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I
couldn't believe that anyone could be that rude. I
tracked down Robin's correct number and called her.
She had transposed the last two digits incorrectly.
After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong
number still lying there on my desk. I decided to
call it again. When the same person once more
answered, I yelled "You're an asshole!" and hung up.
Next to his phone number I wrote the word "asshole,"
and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks,
when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, I'd
call him up. He'd answer, and I'd yell, "You're an
asshole!" It would always cheer me up.
Later in the year the phone company introduced caller
ID. This was a real disappointment for me, I would
have to stop calling the asshole.
Then one day I had an idea. I dialled his number,
then heard his voice, "Hello." I made up a name.
"Hi. This is the sales office of the telephone
company and I'm just calling to see if you're
familiar with our caller ID program?" He went, "No!"
and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back
and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"
The reason I took the time to tell you this story, is
to show you how if there's ever anything really
bothering you, you can do something about it. Just
dial xxxxxxxxxx.
[Keep reading, it gets better.]
The old lady at the mall really took her time pulling
out of the parking pace. I didn't think she was ever
going to leave. Finally, her car began to move and
she started to very slowly back out of the slot. I
backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to
pull out. Great, I thought, she's finally leaving.
All of a sudden this black Camaro come flying up the
parking isle in the wrong direction and pulls into
her space.
I started honking my horn and yelling, "You can't
just do that, Buddy. I was here first!"
the guy climbed out of his Camaro completely ignoring
me. He walked toward the mall as if he didn't even
hear me. I thought to myself, this guy's an asshole,
there sure a lot of assholes in this world. I
noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the backwindow of
his car. I wrote down the number. Then I hunted for
another place to park.
A couple of days later, I'm at home sitting at my
desk. I had just gotten off the phone after calling
xxxxxxxx and yelling, "You're an asshole!"
(It's really easy to call him now since I have his
number on speeddial.)
I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black
Camaro lying on my desk and thought I'd better call
this guy, too.
After a couple rings someone answered the phone and
said, "Hello."
I said, "Is this the man with the black Camaro for
sale?"
"Yes, it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It's a yellow
house and the car's parked right out front."
I said, "What's your name?"
"My name is Don Hansen."
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home in the evenings."
"Listen Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes,"
"Don, you're an asshole!" And I slammed the phone down.
After I hung up I added Don Hansen's number to my
speed dialler.
For a while things seemed to be going better for me.
Now when I had a problem I had two assholes to call.
Then, after several months of calling the assholes
and hanging up on them, it just wasn't as enjoyable
as it used to be.
I gave the problem some serious thought and came up
with a solution:
First, I had my phone dial asshole |1. A man
answered nicely saying,
"Hello."
I yelled "You're an asshole!", but I didn't hang up.
The asshole said, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah."
He said, "Stop calling me."
I said, "No."
He said, "What's your name, Pal?"
I said, "Don Hansen."
He said "Where do you live?"
"1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my
black Camaro's parked out front."
"I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start
saying your prayers."
"Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole!" and I hung up.
Then I called asshole #2.
He answered, "Hello."
I said, "Hello, asshole!"
He said, "If I ever find out who you are..."
"You'll what?"
"I'll kick your butt."
"Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now
asshole!"
And I hung up.
Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I
told them I was at 1802 West 34th Street and that I
was going to kill my gay lover as soon as he got home.
Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war
going on down W. 34th Street.
After that I climbed into my car and headed over to
34th Street to watch the whole thing.
Glorious!
Watching two assholes kicking the crap out of each
other in front of 6 squad cars and a police
helicopter was one of the greatest experiences of my
life!
Name withheld to protect the guilty.